SLEEPING WITH A PARTNER – IT CAN BE DONE!! :)

Good morning divorcebuoy faithful.  How was your weekend?  For folks in the USA there is college basketball and the end of some amazing skiing conditions out west to enjoy as Spring returns.  Flowers are out in certain parts of the USA.

Sleep.  How do you do with your sleep?  Sleep is so important to me.  Sleep drives my energy for the day and the accomplishments I try to attain.  Without sleep, there is less energy. I am lucky because I can sleep most anywhere at most any times.

Now let us say that you are in a relationship and you are sleeping with someone.  How is that going?  The NY Times had a good article on sleeping with a partner that you might find useful.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/18/smarter-living/wirecutter/how-to-share-bed-sleep-partner.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fsmarter-living&action=click&contentCollection=smarter-living&region=stream&module=stream_unit&version=latest&contentPlacement=4&pgtype=sectionfront

SHARING A BED WITHOUT LOSING SLEEP by Ganda Suthivarakom 18 Mar 2019. “Two in three Americans share a bed with a partner. Here’s how to make it more comfortable.”

“No matter how big your bed is, sharing that space with someone else can make it feel cramped.”

“Joy Osmanski lives in a one-room loft in downtown Los Angeles and shares a bed with her husband as well as their two toddlers. Depending on how everyone is sleeping, the California-king mattress can feel like it shapeshifts. “There are some nights when the bed feels enormous, where literally, I’m like, ‘Where are you?’” Ms. Osmanski said. “Other nights, I can’t even wedge myself in.”

“Ms. Osmanski’s situation may be unique, but sharing a bed with at least one other person is common. A 2012 National Sleep Foundation poll conducted with 1,004 Americans aged 25 to 55 years old found that 63 percent of respondents slept with a partner. A 2014 FiveThirtyEight survey of 1,057 American adults with a partner reported that less than 20 percent of respondents slept separately a few times a week or more.”

“Wendy Troxel, a senior behavioral and social scientist at the RAND Corporation, noted that although studies show that people sleep better alone, those same participants say that they preferred to sleep with a partner. “What this suggests to me is that the psychological benefits that we get from feeling close and protected and connected to our partner, particularly at night, trumps even those objective consequences of sharing a bed,” Dr. Troxel said.”

“The comforts of being close to a partner during sleep don’t have to come at the expense of getting a solid night’s rest. Here are some solutions for common crowded-bed complaints, from duvet tug-of-war matches to early-rising kid invasions.”

A summary of their thoughts:
1.  Get the right bedding.
2.  Create routines.
3.  See a sleep specialist.

The conclusions:

“Interruptions during sleep, whether in the form of medical issues or children climbing into bed, can make one partner feel the need to move to the couch or another room temporarily. If you and your partner choose to sleep apart long term, you won’t be alone. Although a lack of sleep may increase conflict, consider how the separation can affect your relationship.”

“Prioritize sleep as a couple. Think of it as an investment in your relationship, because you really are a better partner as well as more productive and healthier and happier when you sleep better,” Dr. Troxel said. “If you have challenges with sleeping together, talk about it in a healthy and calm and honest way instead of what I often see is out of desperation, one member of the couple abandons the bed leaving the other partner to feel literally abandoned.”

Good stuff.  Good luck.  I am off to take a nap 🙂

Hope, Health, Happiness.

Progress, no matter how small, is progress.

Buoy